The transition phase is a leap of faith that I/we will land on our feet on to the other side. Leaps require courage; the larger the gap, the more you need. While there is quite a swirl of uncertainty, the hope for change can either propell you over, or stop you at the edge of the presipice.
Last night, I dreamed that I was talking to this girl who decided to leave her job as a successful advertising executive to become a flower...Yes, a flower (hey - anything goes in a dream). This girl decided nothing would make her happier than to be a flower. She opens a flower shop, steps in to an orange terracotta pot and watered herself. A guy walks in the flower shop, but instead of buying flowers, he turns in his suitcase to become an MMA fighter, and somehow had a wrestling ring in his bookbag... I look behind him and there was a line of people outside the flower shop ready to do something or be someone they realized defines them more than their current, more lucrative jobs. Despite the thunderstorm looming overhead these people stayed in line to declare themselves.
This morning, I discovered that my unemployment benefits expired. In the back of my mind, I knew this day would come, and thought I would chuckle it off in my resolve to follow my dreams and realize my full potential. However, reading the letter, a slight panic started to swell from my gut to my chest. I had hoped that something would present itself by now, one that was more sustaining than the inconsistent jobs I've been getting teaching yoga. I even revamped my resume and started submitting to project management postings. On my third application however, I realized that to have courage and to have faith, one must be patient. Sometimes, when something doesn't turn out the way we want, we attempt to alleviate the disappointment by changing direction. I did not submit the third application. Instead, I shut down my computer, took a deep breath and stepped outside to tend to my garden. I found my blackberry was fruiting quite abundantly, and I was able to harvest a thick handful of arugula enough to make a single serve salad. So while I am not chuckling at the letter, I am feeling resolved to declare myself, and follow my dream(s).
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I think it's safe to say that I have been neglecting my blog for some time now. I thought for sure the vigor of a new year will get me posting again, but I must DO to be able to accomplish... and aside from lab papers and class notes, I haven't done much in the writing sector... but I am without regret.........
....check me out ya'll!!! I'm teaching a yoga workshop!! YAY ME!
Friday, January 6, 2012
A Brave New Year
It seems a promise of a new and improved year in a form of resolutions solicits a month (or two) of slacking, and over-indulgence throughout the holidays. Now that we are moving towards the end of the first week of the year, I have yet to resolve to quit or to start something. Perhaps I am still coming down from the holiday buzz: staying up late, eating a lot of junk food, and there are still wine bottles in my recycling bin even though we haven't had guests in a while. And yet, I am not worried. Next week, for sure, I'll snap back to pre-holiday habits, but as far as resolution goes, I haven't yet found one to commit to.
What I do find intriguing, is not the promise of excellence in a resolution, but the courage found in failures. 2011 proved to be a difficult time full of disappointments. A flurry of activities/trips, that I thought would be enriching, actually taxed my spirits, resulting in this feeling of isolation. The loss of a beloved uncle the year prior was still lingering; and to top it all off, I saw my homeland washed away by Hurricane Sendong - an occurrence so rare, the last time a flood came to the area was when my dad was five years old (and even still, not at the level of destruction).
Through unfulfilled expectations came renewed perspective. In isolation, came an appreciation for solitude. In the depth of my sadness, came clarity in my life's path and a deeper appreciation in relationships. I cannot see the goodness from all the death and destruction caused by Hurricane Sendong. However, it exposed the deforestation crisis due to legal/illegal logging and conversion of forests in to agricultural farms, which I hope the citizens of Mindanao will respond by doing more to protect their forests/environment.
To discover how painfully rewarding it is to see yourself through conflict, I liken to a Phoenix rising from its ashes. The Mayan calendar predicts doomsday this December 2012. Even so, I am certain there will be a new way to exist...and if the doomsday prediction is debunked by the end of the year, I am confident I have the fortitude to face whatever adversity 2012, or 2013 for that matter, throws my way.
What I do find intriguing, is not the promise of excellence in a resolution, but the courage found in failures. 2011 proved to be a difficult time full of disappointments. A flurry of activities/trips, that I thought would be enriching, actually taxed my spirits, resulting in this feeling of isolation. The loss of a beloved uncle the year prior was still lingering; and to top it all off, I saw my homeland washed away by Hurricane Sendong - an occurrence so rare, the last time a flood came to the area was when my dad was five years old (and even still, not at the level of destruction).
Through unfulfilled expectations came renewed perspective. In isolation, came an appreciation for solitude. In the depth of my sadness, came clarity in my life's path and a deeper appreciation in relationships. I cannot see the goodness from all the death and destruction caused by Hurricane Sendong. However, it exposed the deforestation crisis due to legal/illegal logging and conversion of forests in to agricultural farms, which I hope the citizens of Mindanao will respond by doing more to protect their forests/environment.
To discover how painfully rewarding it is to see yourself through conflict, I liken to a Phoenix rising from its ashes. The Mayan calendar predicts doomsday this December 2012. Even so, I am certain there will be a new way to exist...and if the doomsday prediction is debunked by the end of the year, I am confident I have the fortitude to face whatever adversity 2012, or 2013 for that matter, throws my way.
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